


Hungover Mornings with England, Prussia, and Denmark, Vol. Too Many

by Yombatable



Series: Stupid Shenanigans with England, Prussia, and Denmark [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Funny, Humour, Multi, The boys got laid, gotta love 'em, probably, they talk about getting laid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 02:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5229818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yombatable/pseuds/Yombatable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to 'Drunken Conversations With England, Prussia, and Denmark, Vol. ?'</p>
<p>Or, how the boys got laid, but one of them can't walk right, one of the can't shit right, and the other one wants to commit murder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hungover Mornings with England, Prussia, and Denmark, Vol. Too Many

**Author's Note:**

> I finally wrote the sequel! Yay! How long coming has this been? Like three months. Oops! Also prepare to be barraged with rare-pairs because they complete me.
> 
> Enjoy! ;)

                "Good morning, did you two happen to have as _interesting_ a night as I did?" England asked, as he joined his two hung-over companions, sharing a table at the breakfast bar that the hotel provided. England set his strong black tea down beside their two strong black coffees and as good as collapsed beside them.

                "Well, you tell us what happened to you first, and we'll let you know." Denmark replied, after taking a large gulp of coffee. Prussia seemed unresponsive.

                England let his head fall down on the table with a quiet thud and a muffled groan, "Well, good news is," he said, fingering the rim of his paper cup of tea, "I can no longer say I haven't had sex in almost six years."

                "And bad news?" Denmark asked.

                "I think Hungary ripped my dick off."

                That seemed to snap Prussia to attention, "Wait she ripped _your_ dick off, she was supposed to rip off _mine..._ "

                Denmark and England grimaced at him. "Well next time I'll let you have her, poor thing is traumatised." England said, looking down at his crotch with a remorseful expression.

                Denmark snorted, "Well, I'll tell you whose dick _isn't_ traumatized..." He grinned, wincing through his headache, and pointing to himself.

                "Goodie for you..." England grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

                "Yeah, I _know_. I might be hung-over as shit, but I had some _great_ sex last night."

                England rolled his eyes, "Oh, don't get me wrong, the sex as brilliant, I just don't think the poor guy is going to work right for a while."

                "And judging by the way you're sitting," Prussia added, smirking at Denmark, "Even though your dick isn't traumatized, you might never be able to take a solid shit again."

                Denmark grinned, "I'll take liquid shits any day. He's like a fucking freight train... I think I'm in love..."

                England coughed through a mouthful of tea, "Well shit Denmark, who did you sleep with?"

                "America."

                Both of the others blinked at him in surprise, "America?"

                Denmark nodded, "Sure, he's not my usual type but holy shit! He fucked me without any support, not a wall, not my legs, not _anything_. I'm not even kidding, like my legs gave out at one point and I didn't even budge. He's like a fucking demi-god or some shit."

                England hummed out a confused note, frowning into his tea, "But _I_ was supposed to sleep with- _oh..._ " His eyes widened almost comically, "I think I see what happened here..."

                The other two looked at him, "What?"

                "Did you sleep with anyone last night?" He asked Prussia.

                "What, you think you guys are the only ones with game?"

                "Well, _eight years-_ "

                "Shut up Denmark, what the fuck do you know?"

                "Who did you sleep with?" England interrupted, rolling his eyes, dear lord the men were like bickering children.

                Prussia's face coloured, and he took a long gulp of his coffee as if to buy himself time, "fuckinnedmaybeidunno." He finally blurted.

                " _Prussia_."

                "I fucked Netherlands and I bottomed and I liked it!" he said, perhaps a little too loudly, making the room go quiet, his face going _extremely_ red.

                Well, what the fuck did he say that for?

                A few moments later the room burst into laughter.

                Prussia had to bury his face in his arms as someone who sounded suspiciously like France yelled, "There is no shame is pleasure, Prussia!"

                And someone who sounded suspiciously like Belgium yelled, "That's right, tell the world of your true self, Prussia, the proud bottom bitch!"

                "Fuck off, I will end you!" Prussia yelled back through his arms.

                That may not have been one of his better decisions. But if they hadn't been pressuring him he wouldn't have fucking _blurted_ it in front of a room full of nations! Fuck, was Austria smirking. He was fucking smirking! The smug bitch.

                He scowled at him, holding up a middle finger.

                Austria raised an eyebrow.

                Prussia considered homicide.

                England choked out the last of his laughs before turning to Denmark, "And let me guess, _you_ were supposed to sleep with Ned?"

                Denmark bit his lip through a laugh, nodding.

                Prussia looked up at them, the head from his face enough to cook their breakfasts on its own, "Are you saying we all were so drunk that we managed to booty call the wrong people?"

                England shook his head, pulling out his phone, before double taking and frowning at it, "This isn't my phone..." his eyes widened once again, "Oh, no, I _definitely_ know what happened. Denmark, is this yours?"

                Denmark reached out for it, taking it and nodding, "Yup, that's mine, so does that mean...?" He pulled out the phone in his own pocket, "Prussia?"

                Prussia nodded, handing the phone in his own hand to England, "Uh-huh."

                He'd thought it was strange that he'd received a text from the British Prime Minister.

                "So we had a circle-jerk of fuck ups, and that resulted in us all somehow fucking the wrong people?" Prussia asked, after staring at his phone blankly for a brief moment.

                England nodded, "It seems so. Although how those people actually all agreed to come and fuck us is beyond my own comprehension."

                "Easy." Prussia grinned, "We are three sexy motherfuckers!"

                " _Eight years_ , Prussia."

                "Okay, you know what Denmark-"

                Before Prussia could complete that thought, a shadow appeared over England, and they all looked up at the figure above him with wide eyes.

                Well fuck, this was brilliant. He could practically _feel_ his penis cowering away already. Now, don't get him wrong, it was a _good_ kind of cowering, the kind that only a dick that has been thoroughly overused can do, but a dick needs time to recover from an experience like that. It needs to be nurtured, and he was sure that's not what she was here to do.

                England smiled crookedly up at her as she stood above him from behind, "Why, good morning Hungary," he laughed nervously, "I see you're looking stunning this morning."

                She smiled amusedly, "Sweet-talk will get you nowhere but back in my bed England." She said, playing with his hair in the kind of way that is probably about the exact opposite of innocent. "I just wanted to make sure your poor dick was okay. I happened to hear something about _trauma._ "

                He shook his head, his face colouring, subconsciously crossing his legs and making the other two snort, "Of course not, my dear. Rumours and nothing more."

                She smirked, patting him on the head, "Good to hear," she then leaned down and whispered something in his ear which made his eyes widen, his legs cross tighter, and his mouth twist up into a grin all at once.

                "Anytime, poppet. Just say the word."

                She pecked his cheek, crinkling her nose through a smile. "Good to know we're on the same page."

                Denmark snorted out a laugh, as Prussia regarded Hungary's retreating figure dumbly. Well that was fucking unfair. "You getting laid again tonight?"

                England just sipped his tea smugly, humming out an ambiguous note, and making Prussia slump down on the table, his eyes narrowed. _Really_ fucking unfair.

                Denmark's attention was then caught by America, who was standing by the breakfast bar and talking to Canada, both of whom kept glancing over to him and giggling. Fuck, was he blushing? His face was hot, he _was_ blushing. Fuck! He turned his head toward the table in the hopes America couldn't see.

                England caught sight of this, "Oh, yes, if you're wondering they're _definitely_ talking about the sex you had last night."

                Denmark frowned, "Good or bad?"

                England looked back, humming in thought, "Good, probably," he said, "But then again, Canada is more giggly than usual, so maybe..."

                " _England_!"

                England snorted, "If you're so worried go and _ask_ him."

                "Easy for _you_ to say," Denmark grumbled, "You just got your traumatized dick another round of pulverizing."

                England grinned, "What, worried you'll never get a pounding that good again?"

                "I-"

                "Heya big-guy!"

                Denmark paused in his reply to look up at the form which had just leant itself between them, swallowing thickly and shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Hey, America!"

                America grinned, "Y'know, I was worried you wouldn't be able to sit right after last night, but you look like you're holding up pretty good."

                England snorted. America ignored him.

                "Nah, I'm-" he coughed, "I'm great!"

                "Oh, that's _great_ ," America smirked, and Denmark was sure he _could_ have been smoother, smirked back, maybe even flirted a little,  if he didn't have slightly blurred but extremely prominent recent memories of getting fucked like a bitch. The hangover wasn't helping either.

                Nor were the fucking looks England and Prussia were giving him.

                America chuckled, "Well, let me know if you're feeling up to..." he leant in, whispering something in Denmark's ear which made his eyes widen and his face go bright red.

                America then flitted off, with only a sly smile , a wink, and a "See ya later big-guy!"

                There was silence for a few moments and then Denmark blinked, staring at America who had sat down next to Canada, the two of which were back to giggling, "Do I have a boner? I think I have a boner."

                Prussia leant over, peering at his crotch. He shrugged, "Nothing that will get you arrested."

                "Good." He said, coughing lightly and then turning to England, "You raised a dirty bastard."

                England just smirked, "Just remember that whatever he's doing, I most likely did it to him first." He sipped at his tea nonchalantly, "Don't you _dare_ let France take the credit. _Vanilla bastard wouldn't know exciting sex if I shoved it up his rose-scented rear-end_."

                Prussia shrugged, "It might not be exciting, but it's fucking good."

                England hummed, "Perhaps, but it would be better if he agreed to let me leave a mark..."

                Denmark perked up after that, "Oh shit, that reminds me, check this out!" He stood up, lifting his shirt up his side and pulling his trousers down a few inches so his hip bones showed, "Look! He drew fucking blood!"

                The other two peered at the bite mark, raised and bruised, yellowing already, "Holy shit, that's deep!" Prussia gasped, poking it with his finger and grimacing in fascination.

                "I _know_ ," He started, but was quickly interrupted by a voice behind him.

                "Showing off your war-wounds Denmark?"

                Denmark rolled his eyes, dropping his shirt with a snort, "None of your business, Ned."

                Netherlands shrugged, and Prussia almost immediately recoiled and pridefully tried to stop the blush that was inching its way onto his cheeks. Well fuck.

                Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck.

                This was great. No really. Fantastic. He wasn't embarrassed.

                He just wasn't there. He was invisible. He was a Ninja. Invisible. Like the night.

                "It doesn't matter, I'm not here for you anyway," he scooted around Denmark and stood in front of Prussia who stared him down with the look of a man who was in terrible denial. "I'm here to check on Prussia."

                What was it Canada had said? Shit ah, think! Umm! Right, if not existing doesn't work, try passive aggression!

                "What do you want, Ned?" Prussia snapped, making the other two grin into their respective beverage.

                "My sister tells me you have been publicly announcing how good our sex was last night."

                Well passive aggression worked like shit. What the fuck did Canada know?

                Prussia's eyes widened, his blush deepened, and his eyebrows raised. "I have to thank you. Maybe next time you want to be tied up and called a whore you can give me another call."

                And then he left.

                There was silence for a long and painful moment.

                And then everyone in the immediate vicinity burst into laughter.

                And Prussia died a little on the inside.

                "Fucking brutal." Denmark guffawed, wiping his eyes, "Oh my god Prussia, I think I'm gonna piss myself!"

                "Don't get us wrong, there's nothing wrong with your tastes mate, but-" England couldn't finish his sentence as he slid down his chair in his laughter.

                "Fuck you guys!"

                But they didn't stop laughing.

                So Prussia just got up and left.

                Fuck those guys. He didn't even need to be there.

                He silently swore to himself he'd never get drunk with those two arseholes again.

                The fact that he broke that promise just a month later is irrelevant. Those two pieces of shit could never stay out of his life for long anyway.


End file.
